Mum, what if someone asks what I have on my head?” – how to prepare a child with a cochlear implant for the first day of school
The first day of school can be stressful for almost every child. A new classroom, a new teacher, new classmates and new rules. A child with a cochlear implant may have one more thought in the back of their mind: “What if someone asks what I have behind my ear?” or “What if someone laughs at me?”
For an adult, a sound processor is simply a device that helps a child hear. For a six- or seven-year-old, it can feel like something that makes them stand out straight away.
Children notice. And children ask questions
“What do you have behind your ear?”, “What is it for?”, “Can you hear?”, “Can I touch it?”
Most of the time, these questions are not meant to be unkind. Children are simply curious. They see something new and want to know what it is. It becomes harder when your child does not know what to say and suddenly feels they have to explain themselves in front of the whole class.
That is why it helps to practise one simple answer before school starts. Not a long explanation about cochlear implants. Not a medical definition. One sentence is enough.
“This is my sound processor. It helps me hear.”
Or:
“I have a cochlear implant. This device helps me hear.”
And that is enough. Your child does not have to say anything more if they do not want to.
Should a sound processor be hidden?
Many parents ask themselves this question. Should we cover the processor with hair? Choose a headband that blends in? Or let the child choose something colourful?
There is no single right answer. The most important thing is how the child wants to look.
One child may want the processor to be barely visible. Another may choose a blue headband, a colourful safety clip or a sticker and be proud of the way their device looks.
Both choices are fine. Follow your child’s lead.
A sound processor headband is more than protection
A headband has a practical job first of all. It helps keep the sound processor in place while running, playing, during PE or on a busy school break.
But sometimes it gives a child something more.
The processor stops looking like “medical equipment” and simply becomes part of what they are wearing. The child chooses the colour, decides which headband to wear and feels that it is their choice.
To an adult, this may seem like a small thing. To a child, it can mean a lot.
Don’t say: “No one will notice”
Because someone probably will.
Children notice everything. New glasses, braces, a plaster on a knee, a different backpack. They will notice a sound processor too.
It is often better to say:
“Someone may ask about it. And that’s okay. You already know what you can say.”
This gives your child a simple plan. They do not have to think of an answer when they are stressed or wonder if there is “something wrong” with their processor.
What if someone says something unkind?
You cannot rule that out completely.
There is no point in frightening a child by saying that someone will definitely laugh at them. It is better to make sure they know what they can do if something unpleasant happens.
They can say:
“I don’t like it when you say that.”
They can walk away. They can ask a teacher for help. They can tell a parent when they get home.
The most important thing is that they know they do not have to pretend nothing happened.
One thing to do before the first school bell
Before the first day of school, try something very simple.
Stand together in front of the mirror. Put on the sound processor, headband or safety clip exactly the way your child wants to wear it to school.
Then ask:
“What will you say if someone asks what you have behind your ear?”
Do not answer for them straight away. Listen.
Maybe they will say:
“I’ll say that it helps me hear.”
And really, that may be all they need.
Because the first day of school is already emotional enough. 💙
