My child is deaf – Mother's love
My child is deaf – THE MIRACLE I EXPERIENCE
I am a mom. If you are too you surely know how challenging it is.
I am a mom of a deaf child. That’s a one-level-up challenge. My second daughter, Helena, was born in 2012. I clearly remember the day when she was undergoing a mandatory hearing test in the hospital and the device kept displaying: TO BE CHECKED. Although at that point doctors were not sure that Hela had a hearing impairment I probably had something like a mother’s intuition because that moment stayed in my mind. Observing how, one after another, tests confirmed that Helena has hearing dysfunction was enormously painful. At that point the world seemed to stop for a while and I started to view my life all in black. My life blinked as the TO BE CHECKED display. I was a mess.
The breakthrough
Today I know that the moment was my breakthrough! A positive one! Yes! You read it right and read on. It was thanks to my daughter that I discovered myself, opened up to love, life, experiencing. Her birth woke me up and before I was dreaming colorless! I started to see more, feel more. I started to live in truth, started living the life I was dreaming of.
Do I make sacrifices or do I follow my heart?
It’s not a secret that being a mom of a deaf child requires exceptional sacrifice, engagement, presence. It’s about caring about self-development and your emotions even more. It’s about casting the sorrow out and putting the question of ‘why MY child?’ out of your mind and heart. But being a mom is also about following your heart – the heart which is full of love.
Loving a disabled child
Three surgeries that my little child underwent were traumatic for me. I didn’t know how strong the bond between a mother and a child can be! On these days I felt this bond with every part of my body and every recess of my soul. On these days what I felt with every fibre of my being was LOVE.
The superpower and pushing the boundaries
What has been supporting me in taking care of Hela were rehabilitation classes and doctor’s appointments. When I gave birth to my first daughter I was not aware of what is going on, but being a parent of a disabled child puts a person to push their boundaries and consequently – to undergo a remarkable self-development. I have been caring about that my child develops as good as it is possible and that she can live unaided and happily – that’s my goal. This is my superpower.
Self-development
The whole situation made me look for solutions aimed at making our everyday life better. I opened up to feel myself and my needs, discovered my hobbies, my powers, my life goal. I completed many courses, met incredible people. On this difficult mom’s road I beat my own paths – the paths of a mom of a deaf child.
A deepened bond with my husband
The birth of my {our!} disabled child impacted the bond between my and my husband in a positive way. It is incredible and even magical when a difficult situation does not polarize the parents (which is sometimes the case!), but allies them. We are lucky. Both me and my husband have been getting really emotional about this situation but we have also supported each other to a great extent. I feel that the success of our relationship is firmly based on this experience. It taught us a lot about ourselves and our bond.
The life project
It is thanks to our daughter that we created a brand and a store which support parents and children with hearing impairments. This project was born together with Hela and it matures together with her. I can boldly say that the SmartEar brand is already 11 – just like Hela! Today, together with my husband, we run a prosperous company which is created heart-to-heart, with passion and great engagement. SmartEar is based on truth, on knowing and experiencing this topic and difficulties which our Clients face. We literally know what you feel!
On September 22, 2012 my life collapsed. On that day my life was TO BE CHECKED. I felt an enormous pain and sorrow. I thought I will die of despair. And what I think now is: if I knew what my future would be like – I would surely feel better! I would surely feel uplifted.
At the same time I know that if I knew my future then I would not have come to this place in which I am now.
Misery turned into happiness
Difficult situations appear in our life and are unpleasant surprises. One cannot foresee them. However, today I know that they bear sense and plan which is often deeper and bigger than we think, especially when we experience sorrow. It was like that in my case! This experience literally changed my life. I am grateful for it. I am grateful for my life and for both my daughters whom I love with the purest form of love – the mom’s love.
